Movies: Network

Network is an important film.

All of you should watch it, but you probably won't.

Luckily, I'm here to tell you why it's important and to provide a few YouTube highlights for your perusal.

The 1976 film, written by Paddy Chayefsky and directed by Sidney Lumet follows the story of one Howard Beale (a role that earned Peter Finch a posthumous Academy Award) and his progression from being a beloved news anchor to being a "mad prophet of the airways."

When Howard's ratings slip, he's informed by his producer and longtime friend Max Schumacher (another stellar performance from William Holden) that he is going to be let go. Despondent, feeling that he has nothing left to live for, Beale announces on-air that he is going to commit suicide. This mark's the beginning of Howard's mental decline which sees him continue to tell a live television audience that he "just ran out of bullshit" and ultimately deliver a series of long, passionate rants about subjects ranging from the state of society to the propagandist nature of television.

The film also follows the evolving relationship between Schumacher and Diana Christensen (Faye Dunaway), an ambitious, up-and-coming producer that uses Beale's poor mental health as a method to gain ratings for the struggling UBS network.

The mood of the film cleverly alternates between black humor and dire seriousness, while keeping up a very pointed social commentary throughout. It is never lost on the audience that despite Howard Beale's apparenty insanity, he is the most honest and (strangely enough) sane character in the film. His tragedy is that he borders on being a force for real social change, but ends up being a lone voice crying the wilderness, the only one who sees our world for what it really is.

The most important, and ultimately, the eeriest aspect of the film is how prescient it is of the way that the media has evolved in the decades since Network was released. One can only wonder what a modern-day Howard Beale would have to say about the internet, when he's already so critical of how television has turned us into mindless drones that, "dress like the tube, eat like the tube [and] raise [our] children like the tube." Furthermore, one of Beale's speeches directly anticipates the arrival of completely biased networks like Fox News that peddle "shit for truth" in the employ of large, global corporations.



Furthermore, the period that Network represents, the late 70's, is very reminiscent of our own; economic crisis, climate crisis, war, and a complete lack of faith in the government run rampant. Network takes a stand against the destruction of the spirit of the individual in the modern age, which Beale summarizes in his moving statement, "I'm a human being goddammit! My life has value!" a sharp contrast to the pro-Capitalist speech delivered by corporate CEO Mr. Jensen during the film's climax. The impressionable Beale changes his stance in favor of Jensen's philosophy of global capitalism, a decision that leads him to his demise.

Network reaffirms the worth of the human spirit in the wake of the soul-crushing nature of modern society, without taking a particular political stand. We can seize back our individual power, and we can change things for the better but first we've got to get mad. Howard Beale want's us to get up, go to our our windows, stick our heads out and yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" It's one of the most famous, and disturbing, scenes in cinema.



Watch it. Learn a few things.

This city deserves a better class of homosexual.

Web Obsession: Nietzsche Family Circus

Ok, I'm a philosophy geek, so this is probably only fun for me, but here goes...

The Nietzsche Family Circus is a website with a very simple premise: they take a random image from the long-running (and unfunny) comic strip Family Circus, and combine it with a random quotation from unapologetic, revolutionary, chauvinistic philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.

The results are sometimes hilarious, sometimes profound, sometimes senseless, but always interesting.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Rant: Why I am not a Rent boy.

So Rent has finally closed it's doors after what seems like a century.

Praise Jesus!

It's practically impossible to go through a karaoke night without hearing somebody sing something from Rent. Last night it was "Another Day." Last week it was "Out Tonight." The week before that it was "Seasons of Love." For the sake of fluidity, I won't even mention the three songs from Wicked I was subjected to, or the flabby queen that sang "Everything's Coming Up Roses."

Christ. I hate Rent.

Ok, maybe hate is too strong a word. I don't hate Rent, I just really don't get what the big deal is. It's a gay musical. So what? ALL musicals are gay. Why is this one so special?

Let me tell you about my first Rent experience. When the movie came out on DVD I decided to buy it. I figured hey, it's a staple gay musical, I'm sure I'll love it. I sat down with my boyfriend, my best friend and his boyfriend to watch it. We turned it off a little over half way through and decided to go to a house party instead. That DVD is now a doorstop.

Yes, yes, I know. I committed the horrible sin of watching the movie rather than seeing the stage production. I'm sure you'll try to convince me that it's SO much better on stage. I don't buy it. I have a considerable amount of imagination and I've tried to redeem Rent in my own eyes a great many times. I've listened to both the original broadway cast recording and the film soundtrack countless times (I'm listening to them right now actually). I've even watched several documentaries on the creation and development of the show. Believe me, I really want to be as die-hard about it as the rest of you are but I just can't, and I don't believe seeing it on stage will change that.

I know it was revolutionary and controversial, but that in itself doesn't make it good. The idea of adapting Puccini's La Boheme is interesting, but centering it around a bunch of East Village hippies with AIDS in the late 80's? It's just so fucking depressing. Why sit for three hours and watch people sing about how they're dying of a plague?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not averse to watching a story about the AIDS crisis. If you want to see something that's far more moving and does a much better job of encapsulating the experience of the gay community during that time then may I suggest Tony Kushner's Angels in America (which incidentally also won a Pulitzer and a Tony)? Kushner's original story is more thought provoking and has far more depth than Rent. Sorry, no musical numbers though.

Beyond that, Rent simply isn't all that entertaining. The characters are incessantly whiny and, with a few exceptions, the musical numbers are mediocre. Mark can't figure out what he wants to film. Roger can't write a song. Mimi's an emotionally fragile stripper. They can't afford their Rent. Aww. Poor babies! Y'know what? Neither can I, but you don't see me singing any songs about it, do you? There's character named Angel that dies and becomes a source of spiritual inspiration? How original. By the time "La Vie Boheme" ended I was hoping that the entire cast would choke on an AIDSburger.

Look, I liked "La Vie Boheme" and "One Song Glory." The recurring "No Day but Today" theme is lovely and moving (and, for those of you who are philosophically inclined, quite in keeping with the doctrine of eternal recurrence and amor fati, which I fully support). But please, "Out Tonight?" "Light My Candle?" "Over the Moon?" Absolutely not. Don't even get me started on "Seasons of Love." That song is catchy to be sure, but the concept behind it is absolutely ludicrous. I defy anyone to measure a year in terms of love. You could measure it in sex, that's for sure, but love? No sugar, you can't measure love. That's kind of the point of it.

It's OK to like Rent. It's even OK to love it, but lets all get a grip and stop treating it like it was a revelation. Stop chanting "no day but today" and "525,600 minutes" like they're some kind of mantras. Rent may be an important musical, but it's a mediocre one at best.

There's no wittier criticism I can give than that of a couple of my own heroes, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, so I'll leave you with that:


This city deserves a better class of homosexual

Review: Wet & Wild Wednesdays at Porky's

Do you ever wonder how they name these parties?

I do.

I mean, call me old-fashioned, but I just think that the name of the party should have something to do with the actual party itself, y'know?

You don't call a gay party "Titty Tuesday," for example. It just wouldn't make any sense.

Oh, and on that note, can we as a community stop trying to rhyme our parties with days of the week? Firstly, the overuse of alliteration is just terrible. Secondly, rhymed names belong only in grade school or in office parties alongside the ranks of such classics as "Taco Tuesday" and "Thirsty Thursday."

That being said, I really don't know what's so "Wet & Wild" about Wet & Wild Wednesdays at Porky's. There weren't any squirt guns or wet underwear contests or swimming pools or even a freakin' Slip 'N Slide for that matter. The name makes it sound like the remnant of some lame spring break party in Cancun. Oh yeah, there was some rumor of tranny jello wrestling, but I didn't see anything of the sort during my time there.

Actually, the closest thing I saw to a tranny in that place was my old friend Mr. Tranny Eyebrows, who seems to pop up in my life with increasing frequency.

Are you stalking me Mr. Tranny Eyebrows?

...It's okay if you are. I'm just asking.

So, minor complaints aside, let me say this: if there is some kind of gay god (and not the horrendous Matthew Lush kind) I would like to thank him for bringing Porky's back to us. I never thought I would miss that place as much as I have. Going back there again after this very long summer is like going home... if your home is a sticky dump covered in fluorescent paint and quasi-obscene grafitti.

Now, I might sound like I'm being sarcastic and that I'm hating on Porky's, but I assure you that that is most definitely not the case. Porky's is so refreshingly honest that I can't help but love it. Porky's is like that friend of yours that's a total slut, but is completely open about it. Sure he's trashy, but at least he's not trying to pretend he's all virginal, y'know? It demonstrates a kind of self-knowledge that is lacking in most other places.

Here's a little paraphrase of some Marcus Aurelius by way of Hannibal Lecter: First Principles, gentlemen. Of each particular thing ask: What is it in itself? What is its nature?

What is the nature of a gay party?

It is trash. It is a hole in the wall. It is a dive bar. It is trannies and drag queens and slutty public nudity and liquor spilling left and right. It has always been this way since we stepped out of our closets and emerged into the light.

Anyway, enough with my preaching, let's get back to the party at hand. Basically, it's our beloved old Hot Mess... but on a Wednesday night. Same crowd, same queens, same quasi-celebrities. It's nothing new, but I think Porky's falls into the "if it ain't broke don't fix it" category. Now that the original is back, it's really time for that HK Lounge fiasco to bite the dust.

Bottomless Pit's priceless reaction to the shower of confetti. Photo courtesy of Urban Sprawl

Even the hour-long open bar is back. Praise be to the gay god for that too. One noticeable improvement is that their current bar staff was unusually capable. In the old Hot Mess days they had a few of the gay bar regulars who simply weren't skilled enough as bartenders to handle the mass of people clamoring for their free drinks. This was not a problem on Wednesday night. These guys were hot, friendly, mixed a mean drink and kept the flow at the bar going. I hope they keep them around in the future and that they weren't a one-time, opening-night thing... especially that blonde, California-looking guy that served me my vodka tonics all night. He was fun. Cross your fingers kiddies.

What else? Oh yeah Erica Tour Aviance was there, but you'll hear more about her when I talk about Mr. Black (coming soon!). Ben Andrews was there too, but he wasn't naked so who cares, right?

Something I really don't understand: "hosted by the infamous Jason Preston!"

Really?

Now, I know nothing of this man's skills as a party planner or promoter, assuming that he has any, but I really wonder if he's in any way necessary for the success of this party. I mean, I'm sure His Unholiness is probably bound to Porky's by magic that is far beyond my understanding, but geez, ditch the stiff already. For example, do you thing that the following exchange ever takes place?

Gay 1: Let's go to Porky's tonight!
Gay 2: Ehh, I'd much rather go to Vlada
Gay 1: But Porky's party is hosted by Jason Preston!
Gay 2: OMFG! Jason Preston!!! We're totally going there instead!

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Anyway, the point is that Porky's is back, and not a moment too soon. It's nice to finally have a Wednesday night alternative to Hell's Kitchen. One can only run the Therapy-Vlada-Posh circuit so many times before it gets real old.

As I conclude yet another blog review, Porky's website informs me that Tuesdays at Porky's are in fact "Taco Tuesdays."

Sigh.

Why am I not surprised?

This city deserves a better class of homosexual

Web Obsession: YourNextGift.com

YourNextGift.com is a nifty little blog that is regularly updated with all sorts of interesting (and often pointless) products. They seem to have a bit of an obsession with things with LED's in them, but other than that it's pretty interesting. Any apartment could probably benefit from a couple of the clever novelty items that the site features but try not to overdo it, shall we? I have this vision of some douchebag's apartment full of LEDs and clever little japanese products.

Items range from the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker, or USB Missile Launchers, to Bad Boyfriend Voodoo Dolls and Harry Potter Illuminating Wands (no Equus jokes, please).

My current favorite?

That would definitely have to be the Villain Chair (below), available for purchase on DrunkStuff.com.
If anyone is wondering what they should get me for Christmas you need look no further... although I could probably use a fluffy, white Persian cat to go with it. Thank you all in advance.

R.I.P. Kevin Pravia, UPDATE 4

In previous posts I have stated my conviction that the fault in this crime rests squarely with the murderer alone.

I must amend that slightly now. You see, in a sense, that is still true; the fault for the action is all his. Yet in my passion and anger I did not think dialectically. I did not examine things from different perspectives and I was blind to the larger picture at hand. Having had time to think, I believe I now have a better perspective on the issue.

So how did this happen? Who is to blame?

To quote Cassius by way of Edward R. Murrow: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves."

It is our fault for allowing ourselves to live in a world where we turn the tables on the victims and blame them for their innocence. Innocence should not be derided, it should be respected and celebrated. We should mourn the loss of it.

It is our fault for allowing ourselves to live in a world where the extent of our alienation is such that we must turn to drugs and alcohol simply to cope with the pressures of daily life.

It is our fault for allowing ourselves to live in a world where the extent of our alienation from one another is such that when a tragedy likes this strikes, the most emotion that some among us can muster is to say "he should have known better."

It is our fault for allowing ourselves to live in a world where the dangerously ill are not properly medicated or confined, and where misplaced hatred and the desire to accumulate meaningless trinkets can lead one young man to murder another.

It is our fault for allowing ourselves to live in a world where the newspapers tell us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes as if that's the way it's supposed to be.

If I'm starting to sound dangerously like Peter Finch's portrayal of Howard Beale from Sidney Lumet's Network it is because I mean to (my review of this most important piece of cinema is forthcoming). I'm about to sound a lot more like him.

So what do we do about this world that we live in?

I have a few ideas of my own, but who cares what I think?

All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You have to get mad, and you have to understand that this is not the way it should be and not the way it must be. To once again paraphrase Edward R. Murrow, we need not live in fear of one another. Once you accept and understand this, then we can begin to change things. We shouldn't have to live like this.

If any good can come from Kevin's death then perhaps it's that some of us have been shocked into realizing this truth.

Movies: Milk

These recent days have been very dark and so I thought that in the midst of it all I should present you with something positive.

The first trailer for Gus Van Sant's Milk has been released. It is, of course, the story of Harvey Milk, popularly known as the Mayor of Castro Street.

For those of you who don't know who he is: shame on you.

Milk was one of this country's greatest gay-rights activists until his assassination in 1978 and remains an inspiration for us all. Without his efforts, many of us would not be able to live the way we do today. I often speak of the figurative "better" homosexuals that we should become, and Harvey Milk is a shining example of what I mean.

The team of Gus Van Sant, Dustin Lance Black and Sean Penn look to have done an excellent job. One could strongly argue that seeing this film is the duty, the responsibility of every young gay man.

Here is the trailer:



I'll be at the theater on opening day. Will you?

Finally, a few quotes from the real Harvey Milk that I find somewhat comforting in the wake of the senseless death of yet another gay teenager:

"If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door."
-Posthumously, from a recording made in the event of his assassination.

"Two days after I was elected I got a phone call and the voice was quite young. It was from Altoona, Pennsylvania. And the person said "Thanks". And you've got to elect gay people, so that thousand upon thousands like that child know that there is hope for a better world; there is hope for a better tomorrow. Without hope, not only gays, but those who are blacks, the Asians, the disabled, the seniors, the us's: without hope the us's give up. I know that you can't live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you, and you, and you, and you have got to give them hope."

"We must destroy the myths once and for all. We must continue to speak out and most importantly every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your family, you must tell your relatives, you must tell your friends, you must tell your neighbors, you must tell the people you work with, you must tell the people in the stores you shop in, and once they realize that we are indeed their children and that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and for all. And once you do you will feel so much better."

I have in the past criticized certain elements of the gay rights movement. I do this because I believe that if we settle for the granting of a few simple rights, if we're satisfied to become like everyone else, then we will cease to be a force for change. However, if we do not, if we remain a force for revolutionary activity, then we have the capacity to make the world better, not just for ourselves, but for all minorities and oppressed groups everywhere.








UPDATE: If anyone would like to watch the Academy Award winning documentary The Times of Harvey Milk, which covers Milk's life and achievements as well as the circumstances of his assassination, they can see it at my NEW YouTube account here: The Times of Harvey Milk

R.I.P. Kevin Pravia. UPDATE 3

I'mtired of hearing the killer's story. It's obviously a pack of lies. The police say that they doubt there were drugs involved and none were found at the scene. It seems highly unlikely that someone that drunk would go looking for drugs at 6am anyway. Let's remember that we're talking about an honors student and not a junkie, for Christ's sake.

So I hate to do this, but I'm going to play amateur detective here for a minute and see if I can't come up with a story that makes a little more sense.

Kevin walks through the park early Saturday morning and is stopped by his killer. The scum tells him whatever Kevin wants to here. Maybe he tells him he wants to hook up with him and that he has some weed or some such thing. Whatever. Lacking better judgment at the time, Kevin invites him over to his apartment.

Once inside, the killer catches Kevin off-guard and punches him in the face, knocking him out. Then he kills him. Why would he punch someone that was already passed-out drunk? It doesn't make sense. Neither does his supposed robbery motive. He could have robbed him in the park and no one would have been the wiser. He could have robbed him while he slept and left him alive. Kevin was undoubtedly blackout drunk and would never have been able to identify the robber. He could have actually robbed the place, rather than take a few trifling items.

This screams hate crime to me. It's the only explanation that makes sense.

Of course, I could be completely wrong and this crime makes no sense at all. The world is like that sometimes. Perhaps this is just my attempt to make sense of something that is, despite my mind's cry for logic, utterly senseless.

I've been wondering why I've embarked on this mini-media crusade and I've come up with two answers. Firstly, it's therapeutic to vent my anger at this situation in a way that may have some positive result. Secondly, Kevin's friends and family, those who knew him best, have more than enough to deal with right now, so those of us who were acquainted with him in a less familiar way should contribute in any way that we can to lighten the burden on those who have been even more affected by this tragedy than we. This is one way that we can do that.

Finally, you may wonder why I have not mentioned the murderers name here. I refuse to give that waste of life any more of the fame or recognition that he undoubtedly craves. The media may already be splashing his name and smiling face all over the place, but I will not contribute to it. As far as I'm concerned he can be thrown in a heap with every other piece of cold-blooded, murdering scum in the history of civilization.

R.I.P. Kevin Pravia, UPDATE 2

(Originally posted on September 2, 2008)

The story that this suspect told the police doesn't quite add up, and I'm sure that more details about how poor Kevin found himself in this situation will be forthcoming. I find it particularly suspicious that Kevin's cell phone and laptop were stolen and yet nothing else in the apartment was touched. Could it be because there was information on those devices that could have led the police to the murderer? Perhaps. Furthermore, I fail to understand how Kevin, after getting in a cab, ended up at Union Square (a rather lengthy distance away from his apartment), rather than at home. Unless, of course, he was meeting someone?

Many people are tempted to blame all of this on alcohol. True, if Kevin hadn't been drunk this probably would not have happened to him. But let's be realistic here. Alcohol is a part of our culture and a part of our lives. Considering the pressure college students are under these days, the harsh and unforgiving nature of this city, the harsh and unforgiving nature of the gay community, and the dismal times that we live in, alcohol is an almost necessary coping mechanism for the alienation that many of us experience.

The tendency in some media outlets has been to shift the blame to the victim. They're telling us that Kevin "partied hard," he "dated lots of men," and was "promiscuous." Really? Is there any one of those epithets that couldn't be applied to practically every member of our community? Furthermore couldn't they also be applied to the vast majority of young college students in this city, gay or straight? They're sensationalizing this tragedy in order to come up with an explanation that makes sense to their small minds.

We cannot allow this. The fault lies purely with the murderer. If his story is true then it seems that he must have told Kevin whatever he wanted to hear in order to get into his apartment. He then proceeded to murder him in cold blood while he slept.

It's painful to write this.

Kevin was passed out; the murderer could have taken what he wanted and then left. Instead he made a conscious decision to take the life of a sleeping, defenseless, 19 year-old boy. He then sat back and watched a horror movie while Kevin's lifeless body lay on the bed. There is no excuse for this and no way that any decent person could think of blaming the victim. What's the worst that Kevin could have done, made a drunken pass at him? The horror!

This poor excuse for a human being lists "the devil" as his hero on Myspace. When asked by reporters why he did it he shouted, "because I wanted to! You got a problem with that?"

I've often wondered whether or not I believe in the concept of evil. If it exists, then certainly this is a pure example of it. I've also struggled with the concept of capital punishment. I don't believe in it... yet this so strongly tempts me to switch sides in that debate.

I'm really hoping that the gay community of New York comes together over this and that the gay media steps up in Kevin's defense. The fact that other media have already begun to blame this senseless crime on a gay lifestyle indicates only that they will continue to do so as this story develops further. We can not allow this. We must stand up in our own defense, and in the memory of a young man who was simply in the wrong place in the wrong time.

If anybody out there is following this I suggest that you report any media coverage that you find defamatory to GLAAD immediately. Hopefully we'll get their attention. Furthermore I suggest that you make your opinions known to gay media such as The Advocate and Queerty, who have already begun to cover this story. Finally, if anyone is reading message boards that feature anti-gay, or just plain insensitive remarks I suggest you report them and/or speak up in defense. Please, no hate speech. Logic and love are the route to defeating ignorance, not more hate.

Here are a few links:

New York Times

New York Post

New York Daily News

Queerty

The Advocate

GLAAD: Report an Incident

Searching for "Kevin Pravia" on any of these sites should yield the latest results.

Don't let the memory of this boy be tarnished for the sake of a story.

R.I.P. Kevin Pravia, UPDATE 1

(Originally posted on September 1, 2008)

Police reportedly arrested a 22yr old Queens man early this morning. He confessed to the murder shortly after.

Man Confesses to Pace Student's Death

I hope this waste of skin, blood and bones gets what's coming to him. Never before have I wished harm upon a human being in the way that I do right now.

I think a lot of us are afraid to say this, but I'll go ahead and do it anyway. I think one of the scariest things about this is how it could have just as easily happened to me or one of my other friends.

How many times have I gotten drunk and either stumbled back home or stumbled into a cab?
How many times have I watched friends do the same?
How many times has a drunk friend disappeared and I haven't heard from them until morning?
How many times have I blacked out and been fortunate enough to wake up safe in my bed?
How many people do I know that habitually go home with strange men, or invite strange men over to their apartments?

R.I.P. Kevin Pravia.

I was hoping to return to this blog with a triumphantly witty rant about something or other but now I'll have to briefly postpone that in light of a very serious tragedy that has taken place this past weekend which I feel I must address in some form.



Kevin Pravia was found dead in his Chelsea apartment on Sunday. While details are somewhat hazy as I write this, it sounds like his roommate came home to find him on his bed with plastic stuffed in his mouth and an electrical cord wrapped around his neck. An autopsy has not yet been conducted and police have said they haven't ruled out homicide or suicide.

I didn't know Kevin very well. As a matter of fact, I hardly knew him at all. He and I talked online off and on for nearly a year but never got around to meeting until just last week. It was a Friday night and I had invited a bunch of people over to my new apartment for some drinks before we headed out to party. Kevin came, along with a friend of his. He was rather shy and quiet, but very nice. Those of you reading this that were in attendance may remember the young, shaggy-haired boy with clear blue eyes and bright smile. Kevin left early because he was hesitant to try out his new ID at the swanky and intimidating Chelsea bars.

He was 19 years old. Nineteen. He was happy to be back in the big city after spending the summer at home in Massachusetts. He was just as happy to be living in Chelsea, the center of all things gay; eager to go out and have fun with his friends and meet some cute guys. He was a good kid.

Now this poor boy, five years younger than I, is dead.

It seems very unlikely to me that this was a suicide or an accidental death and so the only option that remains is murder. I'm not going to speculate here about how Kevin got into a situation where this could happen to him, but I will say this: be careful out there. We in the gay community are often so wrapped up in our own trite fabulousness that we forget that this is not a safe world that we live in. Tragically, Kevin is now a testament to the fact that something senseless and terrible can happen to a genuinely good person. As a community, we should not stand for this. We can only hope that whoever is responsible for this is brought to "justice." The thought that this happened in the heart of a "gay neighborhood" only a few blocks from where I now live is especially chilling for me.

I've known people that have died, but I've never been remotely familiar with anyone that has been murdered before, which is part of the reason why I think I'm so affected by this. Thoughts of "if I had only known" are running through my head and I find it strange to think that I was speaking with him as recently as Friday. I barely knew Kevin and I wish I could have protected him from this. I can't even begin to imagine how those who knew him best must feel right now.

I'm not a religious person, as many of you can probably guess. The philosophies that I hold dear dismiss any notion of a utopian afterlife, so I find it difficult to have faith in the idea of heaven. For me this makes the death of someone so young all that much more tragic. Still, I have no more proof of my ideas than any religion does of theirs, so I may very well be wrong. Today I find myself hoping that that's the case. I hope I'm wrong and that there is a heaven and that Kevin is now there. He was a good person and good people deserve better than this world.

Rest in peace Kevin.