So I hate to do this, but I'm going to play amateur detective here for a minute and see if I can't come up with a story that makes a little more sense.
Kevin walks through the park early Saturday morning and is stopped by his killer. The scum tells him whatever Kevin wants to here. Maybe he tells him he wants to hook up with him and that he has some weed or some such thing. Whatever. Lacking better judgment at the time, Kevin invites him over to his apartment.
Once inside, the killer catches Kevin off-guard and punches him in the face, knocking him out. Then he kills him. Why would he punch someone that was already passed-out drunk? It doesn't make sense. Neither does his supposed robbery motive. He could have robbed him in the park and no one would have been the wiser. He could have robbed him while he slept and left him alive. Kevin was undoubtedly blackout drunk and would never have been able to identify the robber. He could have actually robbed the place, rather than take a few trifling items.
This screams hate crime to me. It's the only explanation that makes sense.
Of course, I could be completely wrong and this crime makes no sense at all. The world is like that sometimes. Perhaps this is just my attempt to make sense of something that is, despite my mind's cry for logic, utterly senseless.
I've been wondering why I've embarked on this mini-media crusade and I've come up with two answers. Firstly, it's therapeutic to vent my anger at this situation in a way that may have some positive result. Secondly, Kevin's friends and family, those who knew him best, have more than enough to deal with right now, so those of us who were acquainted with him in a less familiar way should contribute in any way that we can to lighten the burden on those who have been even more affected by this tragedy than we. This is one way that we can do that.
Finally, you may wonder why I have not mentioned the murderers name here. I refuse to give that waste of life any more of the fame or recognition that he undoubtedly craves. The media may already be splashing his name and smiling face all over the place, but I will not contribute to it. As far as I'm concerned he can be thrown in a heap with every other piece of cold-blooded, murdering scum in the history of civilization.
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3 comments:
I appreciate your putting this speculation out there. I agree that we should be participating, if anything, to maintain the integrity of Kevin's legacy that the media is fucking up right now (as well as representation of gays in general). If I weren't computerless and forced to read all of the media updates on my tiny little blackberry screen, I'd be out on all those media sites trying to elicit attention and concern.
How would you factor Kevin being in his underwear when he was found, into your proposed scenario?
Thanks for that. Actually, I hate the fact that this has the potential to become a gay issue, and I'd rather not treat it as such, but I can't help but feel that some media sources (and possibly the murderer's defense lawyers) will turn it into one. It's best for us to be on our guard.
As for your question, who knows, really? There could be any number of answers. Perhaps he was beginning to disrobe when he was attacked?
The fact remains that it seems far more likely that Kevin was preyed upon and murdered for being gay. This is NOT to say that his being gay led him to his death. Those are two entirely different.
Only time will tell, I suppose.
The following is a selection from a facebook message exchange between myself and a good friend that I can always rely on to say something intelligent. I think some of you might find his thoughts interesting:
Marc,
I read your blog about what happened to Kevin. I can only extend my deepest sympathy and let you know that I think it's important that you continue to write. I lost a close friend from high school earlier this summer, and while her accidental death was hard to deal with and understand, it doesn't, I imagine, come close to the crushing, shattering brutality of Kevin's murder.
This world we inhabit is fucked up, and there's no better, more eloquent way to put it. The murder of a good person: how can good exist? The cold arrogance of his murderer: why does he get to be called human? The ideology of the press coverage: a desecration, a defecation disguised as "objective reporting."
Kevin's death says a lot about the gay community, about how we're still perceived and presented, human nature, the media, etc. But in the end, simply, a 19 year old is dead.
With love,
Chris
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Hey Chris,
Thanks for the message.
Yeah, I suppose that murder does leave a different feeling than an accidental or natural death, although they're all tragic, regardless. My condolences for your friend as well. The thing with murder I suppose is that a person has made a conscious decision to take another person's life. This leads us to look for some reason or rationale for this decision. When instead we find a solid motive to be lacking, as in this case, it's more disturbing than ever.
This guy was a monster, pure and simple. I read a theory somewhere that he may have been a fledgling serial killer. While that may be a sensationalized generalization, I have no doubt that he would have harmed more people in the months and years to come. In that sense, at least, Kevin's death might yield something positive, however unsatisfactory that might be to all of us.
What shakes me is how recently I saw and spoke to him, alive and well. Not only that, but I'm certain I would have gotten to know him much better in the weeks to come, and it's strange that I won't have that opportunity.
Anyway, I'm dealing with this by directing my efforts against the media and the insensitive public that are blaming his death on his sexuality and "lifestyle." Kevin partied hard, but no harder than I, or the vast majority of young people do in this city. These insensitive assholes have no right to try and rationalize his death as the inevitable result of a lifestyle choice.
Anyway, it looks like I'm writing an essay again, so I'd better stop here. Thanks for the kind words. Hope all is well.
-Marc
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I can't really say anything to the strangeness of Kevin being someone you were just getting to know, or the knowledge that he could have been a better friend, given time, but this was cut short by a murder and not a sort of social-fizzling.
But I do understand your anger at the way the media coverage of his death, some of which I have been reading, has tried to fit the whole thing into some sort of broader story of puritan virtue. The sly implication that he somehow asked for this because he used drugs socially, or that he partied hard, or that he dated many men.
There is a lack of understanding in these people who are quietly passing judgment. They somehow feel it's relevant to the story that he maybe did drugs... it's a judgment on all of us, and what's so frustrating is that they just don't get it.
Okay, I understand how the story goes: drugs are bad and we should just say no... but really, they're not that bad, and it's so frustrating to see this life, our lives, being displayed as if we're guilty in his death. I hope this makes sense.
And as you write in your blog, how many times have we been blackout drunk only to wake up unexpectedly and safely in our own beds? How many times have we let friends, drunk or high or not, go home with someone whose name they're not going to remember? How safe are we, really? And if Kevin is being written about in a way that doesn't get him, that makes him seem responsible for what happened, what does that do to us?
Are we still trapped in (and forgive me for getting political, but I think this might be what's bothering you) the politics of the 1980s and AIDS, but worse, where now we're told Ok, you can be gay, but as long as you're normal in your sex, relationships, and behavior. That is: we can be gay as long as we're not queer. I don't know if it's right for me to talk about this through the spectrum of this tragedy, but maybe his death illuminates more than our vulnerability as gay men to these rogue maniacs. Maybe it uncovers our vulnerability to the culture we're no longer trying to explode, but become a part of. Suburban Middle American doesn't tolerate us AS us, only us as them.
I'll stop this rant,
Chris
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