Misc: Urban Sprawl Mini-Bar

While I'm making a general point not to post too many inside jokes here because I want this blog to be generally accessible to a broader audience (in the event that I ever actually get one), I just couldn't resist this one.

A little background info: My friend, who goes by the pseudonym of Urban Sprawl, is notorious for coming to bars and clubs well prepared with flasks and such, so as to limit the amount of his spending. He is also notorious for being the group paparazzo, despite the fact that he's gone through three digital cameras in the past year alone. What can I say? Bitch gets drunk and loses shit. Don't act like you've never done it.

So, I've decided that we need to get Mr. Urban Sprawl a Batman-esque utility belt in order to properly equip him for the New York City bar/club scene.

I think it should look something like this:














Urban Sprawl's belt will include the following:

2 Flasks. 1 Vodka, 1 Rum
1 Pouch of sliced limes
1 Pouch of crushed mint leaves
1 Pouch of sugar packets (splenda is an acceptable substitute)
1 Shaker of salt
1 Miniature cocktail shaker
1 Vial of cranberry juice
1 Vial of carbonated water
1 Corkscrew

2 Back-up digital cameras
1 Motorola KRZR cell-phone charger (because his battery lasts all of 10 minutes)
1 Ipod mini, loaded with Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie"
10 latex condoms
1 Miniature bottle, astroglide
1 Switchblade (because he's part Dominican)

1 Gas-powered grappling hook (explains how he disappears so quickly when he's trashed)
1 Pouch explosive ninja powder (explains why we don't notice for a while)

Take the cocktail shaker, add the rum, carbonated water, sugar, mint and limes, place between Urban Sprawl's buttocks, turn on Ipod, play "Hips Don't Lie" and after 30 seconds, you'll have yourself a tasty mojito!

Love,